Dear friend,
I know it’s a bit late now. As promised, before I go to bed, I meant to email you a few Internet links on the subject we discussed earlier today. Most of the following links are accessible from my personal website from http://www.gaspardlafalaisejr.com/ or from my personal blog at http://www.gaspardlafalaisejr.com/blog/ . If you find other relevant ones, please tell me about them.
I want to direct you to an interesting story titled “The Government, Divorce, and the War on Fatherhood” published very recently about the mistreatment and the unfairness that American fathers are victims of in the country.
The article also mentions an interesting book titled “Taken into Custody: The War against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family” – which is available at Amazon.com. I commented about both the article and the book in my blog that you can find at
http://www.gaspardlafalaisejr.com/blog/ ; and at
http://www.fathers-dignity.info/blog/2009/07/21/the-war-against-fatherhood-marriage-and-the-family/ .
As I mentioned to you, the war against fatherhood, the oppressed fathers and their abused children is raging in the country. The following paragraph which was taken from the above mentioned article is a very interesting one and summarizes the matter in a certain sense:
“The fathers may have committed no crime; they may in fact be more dedicated than the mother to the marital stability that’s in their kids’ best interest, but no matter. The mother is rewarded for courageously having taken the “initiative” in the divorce — for having invited, that is, the power of the state to arbitrate in the most private areas of their family life. Maneuvered by skilled lawyers, abetted by social-science “experts” steeped in anti-father ideology and myths, and followed by media more interested in soap-opera storylines than justice, she can by the very hint of a suggestion of an accusation — of physical or sexual abuse, for example, or mental or emotional cruelty — rob a man of his marriage, his children, and his livelihood.”
On the right column of my personal blog, you will find a few links to numerous organizations and support groups devoted to the advocacy of the rights of the fathers and their children and of the family in general. I am a member or have some other affiliations with a few of them. Some of them have an international presence all over the world; others exist only in the United States. Some are nationwide, others only maintain a presence and influence in their home state.
Unless they are directly involved into a custody battle, many Americans are ignorant of this crisis. Mental laziness dictates to them to blindly place their trust into a corrupt court system and to automatically distrust all the fathers who lost custody of the children they love. However the statistics speak for themselves: in about 90% of custody cases, mothers receive custody of the children. The saddest side of this reality is that by denying the children and their fathers’ access to each other, the judges perpetuate fatherlessness in the United States. But the reality is that we all indistinctively suffer from the negative effects of fatherlessness and the burden for our society. Long after these abused children have reached emancipation age and their oppressed fathers stopped paying child support, our society will continue to suffer the consequences of a vicious judge’s order that violated a father and his children’s rights to access each other with homelessness, the perpetuation of broken families and counterproductive social welfare programs, etc …. And; we all may have to pay the consequences even harder in the next few years. As I told you, I do not take “Institutionalized American Fatherlessness” (that’s how I personally definite it – I conceived the term myself) – I do not take it personally. Even though that I consider my children and I victims of it, but, I refused to let ourselves be victimized by it. I personally think that the majority of the fathers are good fathers and a lot of them are victims of falsehood, coercion and orchestrated abandonment and assassination of their characters and their dignity. Many others, mothers and fathers and several groups that I am currently working with share the same view.
If I can help only one father to avoid the trap; if I can help only one child to recognize that her father loves her very much – despite the fact that she and her father do not have access to each other because of a greedy single mother or vicious judge who interfered into their normal relationship – I have reached my goal.
In my personal website, I stated that
“I will never withdraw my presence and support from my children; renege on my duties, responsibilities, and obligations as a father; I will never betray my covenant or commitment to provide, protect and instruct my children.”
But, you know that I will take one step further whenever necessary: that is I will fight anyone any who anywhere any time and whoever violates my rights or those of my children to access each other. As you know, I may not be able to change the direction of the wind of American fatherlessness, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. If I travel the popular roads, my children and I will obviously end up to the popular destination. A road with no obstacles probably does not lead anywhere. I pray God every day to give me the courage to continue.
Several months ago, you shared with me, and we commented on the following quote:
“You do not have to be great to get started, but you must start in order to be great”.
I admire and I am very grateful for your guidance and your insights. I am honored by your time, your genuine friendship and goodwill. Even thought I set my expectations to where they are, whatever comes out of this is truly in God’s hands. I do not worry one bit about tomorrow for I know Who holds tomorrow. All I ever wanted – the desire of my heart – is only peace to continue to fulfill my roles as a father.
“Those who seek greatness rarely find it. Those who seek characters, integrity, wisdom and the truth somehow find greatness as well”.
If it is God’s will that greatness is in the store for me also, I may enjoy that as well.
I can not thank you enough,
Cheers,
“He reminds me of the man who murdered both his parents, and then when sentence was about to be pronounced pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan” ~ Abraham Lincoln